For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body,and is himself its savior Ephesians 5:23.
It is simply a shock the twist we have given to this verse. As Paul instructs the man as “the head”, Most men have been using this verse to establish dominance over women. Manipulating and abusing women in all aspects of life. In homes, workplaces, schools etc.
On the subject of marriage, HEADSHIP is a call to responsibility. Headship is not subject to dominate, or seemingly a degree of authority given to the man over the woman. A man is made head of the family to lead and perform his Godly-given responsibilities. Ephesians 5:22-23 gives two instructions: In verse 22, Paul instructs wives to submit, and 23 says husbands to lead the home. This means you are to serve each other to achieve an honorable marriage.
Paul’s instruction (though the command comes directly from God. Gen.3:16), the husband will be the head of the wife. This commandment does not put the husband in a position to vie for dominance over his wife. There is a deeper meaning to this instruction. A man is made the head of the house to lead— Direct, and guide his family, protect and provide physical needs, emotional needs, spiritual shelter and care for his family. The leadership role given to the man translates responsibilities. You are called and required to establish a stable environment where your family will find peace, shelter and love. But not an avenue to manipulate and mistreat them.
God instituted marriage and is the supreme head of every Godly marriage. On the marriage triangle, God is made the head, and the husband and the wife are put at the lower corners of the triangle. In our minds, the horizontal relationship of the husband and the wife at the base point of the triangle may signify some sense of equality, but God’s central idea is to explain “one flesh”. “One flesh” means communion with each other.
God first created man from the dust; from man, He created woman by taking a rib from his body. This clearly shows a woman is having the rib of a man. When finally found, she completes him. A woman is made to complete a man. “Neither was man created for a woman, but a woman for man. 1 Corinthians 11:9. A woman’s role is to become one with her husband but not to be seen as a competition. As a husband, see your wife as a crafted gift from God to be your helper.
We are in a new era, the world has advanced, and there have been differences in cultural climates. Gone are the days when men were sent to school to get degrees and learn trades to enable them to become breadwinners, full-time providers and deciders of the family. Now, of course, many women have seen the four walls of the university and are working and thriving to help the home. But it doesn’t change the Biblical expectation of the man being the leader. Jesus and the Father are equal, yet Jesus submits to the authority of the Father. So as the man and woman are made equal, the woman is to submit to the husband to lead (not egotistically, but in a living, nurturing, and protective way) to achieve an effective leadership structure at home.
You are not made equal with your husband to stand toe-to-toe and nose-to-nose with him. But instead, you are created equal as “one flesh”. Submit to him and respect him.
Marriage is not a ground to clash egos and compete in pursuit of accolades; neither is it a contest to keep scores and marks which remains significant. Marriage is honorable, God instituted it and gave His blessings (Genesis 2:18). We don’t marry to be in competition against each other. Once you come together as a couple, you are a unified body; therefore, you must work as teammates to achieve your intentions and goals. Conflict is ahead when you start to see your partner as a competition. A certain degree of conflict brings permanent cracks in the marriage. Wrong intentions will always damage the marriage.
Marriage is the beginning of a family. Team effort is required to build it. Prayerfully depend on God’s guidance as couples, lean on His word and apply the wisdom in the word on your marriage.
image credit: NAJOY